the Pope and I

The Pope and me

By David Verveer

Today, the Pope is coming to visit us here in Israel, and indeed, as head of state and leader of the Roman Catholics, he should be treated with the Red Carpet protocol with trumpets and guards of honor. Our President, Prime Minister and other important people will be there to welcome him and tell him that we are happy with his kind gesture to come and visit us, 60 + years after his native people finished slaughtering our brethren.

Of course, we can not blame this German priest for the wrong doing of the Nazi beast; he was at the time only 16 years old, and member of the Hitler Jugend, the Nazi youth group. His participation or non-participation as young boy in extermination of the Jews would not have made any difference, and sure, more than 60 years have passed for him to regret his miniscule role in this sad era, I personally do not hate him for that.

But something peculiar is happening on his holy-land tour, instead of asking our forgiveness for this sad era, his deeds and un- holy thoughts, this ultra conservative German prince of the Christian World, comes here to criticize us, to tell us how to treat the Palestinians, at the same time, his rulings on issues such as his opposing to the use of condoms (while Aids are daily killing thousands of good Catholic Africans every day), the same representative of God on our earth, who declares homo sexually people, mentally ill. Could it be that this priest has doubts on God's creations, as the homo sexual is just like his holiness him self, a product of creation (or is my logic betraying me).

He is the last person on earth to be critical of the Jews and Israel, both because his murky past and human consideration with the plight of others. This un-clean person is today paying a visit to Yad va Shem, the Holocaust museum, to pay his tribute to the crimes of his countrymen 60+ years ago, and of course, he will claim innocence, like all Germans he will say something in the genre of "Ich habe es nicht gewust".

Does his holiness realize on his historical pilgrimage, that his God was a full blood, pedigreed Jew, as were his disciples, including Saint Paul, all with 4 Jewish Grand Parents? We should realize that this dictator who rules the Catholics world-wide is a watered down replica of the popes during the crusades, whose visit to the Holocaust memorial museum is an insult to their memory.

Oh Lord I have sinned

Oh Lord I have sinned!

By David Verveer

Lately I have attacked in this blog our prophet, his holiness All Gore, and his fight for saving our globe from burning to hell, and than I realized that based on clever science, by giving value to numeric or translation from one language to another, the Lord gives us clear messages. On my long rides to work, I have much time on my hand to think about the daily happenings around me, as being alone with my self, I win every argument. Last week, I read a rather stupid article on global warming and the noble prize to our hero, and for reasons unknown to me, the Lord personally asked me to write the name All Gore in Hebrew, and than look at it carefully. "All" we write aleph lamed (which means God) and Gore gimmel, vav and resh, which means whelp or mail descendant, or in other words, All Gore is the son of God. Circumstantial, I don't think so, this is the sign we have all being waiting for, an announcement from heaven, that he is the appointed to help us getting out this mess.

How could I have been so blind, Jesus (a prophet and Messiah before All Gore) performed simple miracles, by walking on water and cooking fish for all the gang, our new guy, appeared in Moscow (in person) while his earthly body was in the US.

Jesus fought the corruption and the Jewish high priest, All fights a gas called Carbon dioxide, a tasteless, colorless and harmless gas, you must agree, that is much harder than fighting a corrupt social but human structure.

Jesus' disciples told us the world is coming to an end; the scientist disciples of All tell us the same, people living in Jesus' time were not saved from cruelty and hunger, we living in All's time will eventually starve, as the food is converted into methanol, to serve the rich, but now we know it, God wanted it by sending us his whelp.

Jesus on the other hand, tried to give a good example, but our current savior only gives advice, while he sins daily by extravagantly increasing the production of carbon dioxin Did you never wonder why he did not accept the Presidency of the USA even though, he got more votes than that Bushman, he knew already that he was meant for greater tasks, and invested in the cereal market.

There might be those pessimists in thinking that All Gore is the Antichrist, and that we are all doomed, I think they are wrong, there are still clusters of good people around, who leave the car idling on the weekend, in order not to pollute, so surely, there is still hope. I myself do something to improve the environment, I cultivate many plants on my balcony, plants that need carbon dioxide, and I use regularly the microwave oven, or cook on gas and electricity, in order not to pollute the air.

Concluding this nonsense, allow me an advise to the new son of God, please try to improve on your brother Jesus' results, the world really need some improvement and saving.