How to lose 40 pounds in one week
By David Verveer
First of all I have to admit that the title of this post is absolutely (on purpose) misleading, meant only in order to get your attention, as I have no idea nor expertise on diets or losing weight.
True,my wife is totally emerged in diets, and eats according the time span left before meeting again with the dietetic expert. The results of those meetings with this Lady are like getting the results of the elections, we gained 20 or lost 30 (gram). Gaining weight means a harsher diet, while losing weight means that we have a month of relaxation. Why do I say “we”, because even though, I never participate in the diet, not that I don’t need it, but I don’t like punishment, life is too short, and I love just those things, which are forbidden in those cruel diets, such as: fried in oil, fat meat, etc. The reason I say “we” is that, without agreeing to it, I became a passive dieter, just like somebody who doesn’t smoke, living near a chain smoker. Because our children left home many years ago, we remained cooking only for two, thus generally I get my portion of cooked vegetables, but I am not complaining.
Than you have the daily ritual of burning calories, my wife does it on the stationary bike, every day she spends a half hour on cycling to nowhere, in reality a terrible waste of energy, if we would be energy conscious, we should have connected the bike to an electricity generator (like we had during the second world war), and use this energy in order to cook our diet meal, but this is nature friendly ecology, and not green technology, following the doctrine of prophet Gore.
But now comes the weekend, having friends coming to share our humble meal. Of course, the wives all are dieting, but when eating out, or having guests for diner, all rules of dieting are thrown in the wind. New recipes, just shown on the TV are tried out, days in advance; different courses are discussed with the husband, who has to express his opinion, irrelevant if he has one on the matter. Of course, he is involved and guilty if something did not succeed according the wife’s expectation. Why didn’t you tell me, that you can not combine fried chicken wings with cauliflower (this is only an example, without any knowledge on the matter). You should have warned me, do I have to everything myself; they are your guests as well!
Generally, our friends eat only 20% of the quantity prepared, because my wife thinks that our guests eat because they are hungry, and the rest of the week, I have to finish eating the leftovers (including all these experiments learned from the TV chefs, and I eat them, because I don’t throw out food in principle. My wife does not help me on this matter, as she is on a diet (as explained before).
But when my grand children come over it is even worth. The love junk food, which they get in big variation, and quantities they can not finish in a life time, causing me having to eat snitzel (factory made and dry like hell), sausages, etc. instead of a good juice fat steaks.
Of course, we like to go out and eat in a restaurant, and during the week, my wife reads all the reports of culinary experts, who sacrificed their weak constitution, by trying the various restaurants. I have learned that those reports are generally not very objective, but still, we try them, especially if they have reduced prices for meals during a given period of time, including discounts if you have credit points from the Credit Card Company or member of a society.
You will ask, of course, where does the diet goes, eating in the restaurant, I can assure you, the meals will include huge green salads, sufficient to feed one cow, but that does not mean, we are giving up on the third course, the pudding, cake, crème and other sweets, rich in calories. But of course, nobody keeps a diet when eating out.
What I am trying to say, that living today is a on going duel with the diet, one day you give in, the other day you pay, with the general result, over a certain time limit, you managed remaining at the same weight, more or less, and losing 40 pounds in one week is a total fantasy, good for advertisements for vitamins and homeopathic medicines, which are one of the best ways to make some crooks very rich, but will not help us in our fight with our body weight. Bon appetite.