beans cause global warming

Beans cause Global Warming

By David Verveer

The spokesman of a group of distinguished scientists from the University of Scheveningen, in the Netherlands, Professor Doctor Jan Scheetjes published their study on the subject dealing with Global Warming, and their advise how instantly to reduce the danger which the Netherlands is facing due to the rising sea levels, caused by Global Warming, which in the past, claimed many lives in the country.

Professor Scheetjes, an expert in the field of biological air pollution, explained in his lengthy study, where two nationalities groups were compared (one group of 10 British students, and the second group 10 Dutch students). The two groups were asked to consume their favorite national breakfasts (the British asked for Sausages, Beans and Bacon, while the Dutch requested various different kinds of cold cuts, cheese and bread). In order to be able to evaluate the out flow, the total calori consumption was kept equal for both groups.

The groups were asked to stay in a closed room for the rest of the morning, and the air was measured on air pollution. The results showed that the room in which the British students occupied had 0.35% more Green house gazes, compared with the Dutch group of students.

From this, it is easy to comprehend that the total Green house gazes produced by the British empire is much larger than their neighbors, the Dutch. When realizing this important factor, the study started to compare the contents of both types of breakfasts and found that the dominant factor was the beans consumed by the British.

Professor Scheetjes claims that the winds in Holland come mainly from Western direction, and the vicious Geen house gasses are wind carried into Holland. It must be said that until now, this was considered a blessing, as those gazes are utilized in the multi million Dutch greenhouse industry, the West Land region, as type of air fertilizer, but now that the United Nations declared that the main culprit of Global Warming are the Green House gazes, his patriotic duty required him to publish the absolute truth, who is causing Global Heating in the Western Hemisphere, asa a British attempt to drown their Dutch neighbors, by activating the ancient concept of “Britain rules the waves”.

The Dutch representative at the United Nations has asked the Security council to order the British to cease their Bean production by the year 2010, in order to save their neighbors from drowning, and to compensate the Dutch, for the loss of air born fertilizers, produced by the British through consumed baked beans at breakfast.

The British reacted to this by blocking the import of Dutch Beer, claiming that the Dutch Beer producers had un-lawfully hiked the beer prices, much higher than the agreements in the Euro market. A special commission has been appointed “to clear the air” between the two neighboring countries.

The Israeli observer, Gabriel Fisher, at the Europese Common Market's Agricultural comity has requested Professor Scheetjes to investigate if the consumption of Foul beans by the Egyptian southern neighbor, could be the cause for frequent sand and dust storms, coming from the south, specially during the Passover festivities..

As closing question by the author of this breaking news story, if true, should we not try to combat the nasty habit of the Beduin making a curious sound, coming deep from their throat, indicating that the meal had been tasteful. It could be that this habit of local tribes might have caused one or more of the ten plagues, which forced the unwilling Israelites to leave the flesh pots of Egypt, and to flee into the desert for 40 years.

See also news article claiming that the use of mobile telephones causes Global Warming.

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