Re: More data on our scoop a few days ago (new Olmert scandal)
By David Verveer
We brought you a few days back rumors on about a new scandal developing, which concerns our Prime Minister, who allegedly and illegally stole (took) sugar bags from the sugar bowl in the Restaurant of the Knesset, put them in his inner pocket, and sold them on the black market, in order to enlarge his personal bank account.
Since we brought this news-breaking story, we received supplementary information, which will emphasize the precarious situation of Mr. Olmert, who currently seem to succeed in reducing the public damage made by Mr. Talansky, who under cross examination appears to be extremely confused and suffering of memory blocks, and might be unsuitable for being the crown witness in shooting down a ruling prime minister.
Also the case of double or triple invoices for flights in service of charity funds (the so called shnor flights), seem to cool down, when discovered that the Opposition leader used free mileage points from his "shnor" flights to pay for the flight of his lovely wife, which is of course, just the same as double invoicing, and quoting the bible, "don't walk with butter on your head in the midday sun", the police was asked to go slow in that case. The other scandals such as Bank Leumi, house in the "what you call it" street, etc. seem to lack sufficient meat to make it stick, and if not our new scandal of the sugar bags theft, the police would have remained without work, oblige them to deal with crime families and traffic offences.
When talking about the Police, we like to quote the police spokesman, when we asked, why the investigation team heading to the USA and France, includes 8 officers, we received the following logical explanation, as you know, said the spokesman, a police man is not allowed to interview anybody, when alone, as he needs a witness. Further more, it is known that you need for any investigation, a good cop and a bad one. In addition, in order to operate abroad, they require a translator and / or interpreter to relay the questions from Hebrew to English and reverse, and what about French? Of course, when travelling in such a large group, one needs a commanding officer and an organizer, how many people are needed; I think 8 is the absolute minimum, end quote the spokesman.
We also like to bring you some first reactions from the Prime Minister's office, which vary from "no comments" to our Prime Minister never drinks or sits in the Knesset Restaurant" and "the Prime Minister doesn't drink sugar sweetened coffee, but uses sweeteners, which are carefully checked by the security people. We think that the above excuses are all weak attempts to spin the attention from this hideous crime.
Our legal expert told us, that even though, the law doesn't mention theft of sugar bags as major crime; it remains theft, which is a crime punishable by imprisonment of 7 years.
In order to know what the people think of this new scandal, our reporters asked people in the street (Jews, Arabs, Palestinians, Youth, Religious, Free thinkers, etc.), many people told us, that the Prime Minister should resign immediately and bring back Bibi, others told us, that everybody does it (stealing sugar bags), some told us, that since they heard about the new case, they too, started stealing sugar bags, which might explain the national shortage in sugar bags.
A well know Psychiatric expert, with expertise on mental conditions of ruling Prime Ministers from the Kadima party, told us that the sugar bag stealing is an obsession (of course, if proven) caused by continues stress brought upon him by the police, which is an unconscious reaction, called the Post Trauma Kleptomaniac Reaction, (PTKR), a natural mental defiance reaction by battered people.
A note from the Publisher
We try to report this case objectively, without taking sides as we wish our loved Prime Minister Sweet success following his resignation and sentencing.
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