chain letters

Chain letters

By David Verveer

Amazing, apparently intelligent people do not realize that by re- sending chain letters, they open for somebody clever, a wonderful tool to receive email addresses. All the spam you receive is caused by the chain letters in which you are requested to send a copy of this writing to 7 or 20 other friends, and if you do it, you will go direct to heaven, you will earn the lottery (irrelevant if you bought a lottery ticket), you will be bloating from health, only please send it on, without making changes.

Beautiful, are those letters who tell you about this poor child, suffering of a terrible disease, near death, and his only wish is, that you send on this letter to your best friends (in this case, please remember, I am not interested, nor feel a pity for this cyber space sick kid).

But there are nice chain letters, with beautiful power point presentations, clever photography, nice tailored text, I receive them with pleasure, because I know that I already am listed, but before I send it on, I erase the names who already received it before me.

Most of the chain letters are based on our strong believe in voodoo, as you and I know that sending onwards this meaningless bullshit (excuse me for my expression) you can not believe that your luck is changing, that the stars are changing your horoscope and that you are now free from apparent danger and you can without hesitation cross the road, as you have send onwards this flipping chain letter, nobody will run you down on the road crossing (of course, only if you send 20 copies of the letter, if only 19, boy you are in danger).

There are other chain letters, in the form of protest letters, letters to the President of the United States, to the Pope or to the Wailing Wall. Only send the letter and peace will prevail, the president will of course read your signature, and now he will stop immediately the Global Warming and you saved the World (plus provided some more spam letters). I forgot petitions, asking to stop the famine in Sudan, the killing of whales, smoking in public places and globalization.

Did you ever think what it means, to oppose globalization, how can somebody stop globalization, and what is wrong with Coca Cola in Zimbabwe, I think that the natives in that country have worst enemies than drinking extra cool diet Coca Cola, but I might be mistaken.

And before I finish this letter, my full-hearted request, please send a copy of my letter to 17 people you know but don't like, and I promise luck will come to you, next week Monday you will get a letter with happy tiding, or an announcement which will make you very happy, but remember 17 is the number, less, and the happy tiding will go to your worst enemy. In name of the Cyber space sick children, the Microsoft organization for handing out money, the US Postal Services, and all other names used in order to trick you, dear sucker, keep on biting, but don't send me chain letters.

By the way, if you do not send my letter to 17 enemies, your stew might get burned, so be warned, I have your best interests at heart.