from the robot's point of view

From the Robot's point of view

By David Verveer

In the United Robot daily, a newspaper published for the robots of our time, I found this disturbing article: "Humanoids are the biggest polluters on earth".

The article is written by a chief scientific robot, built by the M.I.T. robot lab, named Robot "Ynot".

Ynot writes in his essay, published in cyberspace, that after close observation of the behavior of the human species, he came to the conclusion that men will eventually pollute the earth in such extend that they won't be able to continue to exist on this earth. He provide many samples of those polluting actions, some caused by over population, some due to extreme stupid behavior of mankind (like reduction of carbon dioxide, which is required by the fauna, in order to grow), but the main culprit is the lack of clean potable water, needed to allow life of any kind.

He explained in his article, that in the early twenty firth century, irresponsible humanoids started producing artificial energy based on turning grains into fuel, which caused overall famine and death all over the African and Asian continent, as this fuel caused steep rising of food prices, placing it outside the possibility of poor humans to survive, which on itself was of course a good cause, as humans are unnecessary since the creation of the new types of plasma fueled robots.

But Ynot continues to claim that humanoids, even after dying, manage to pollute the aquifer (groundwater) by decaying in the ground, causing seepage into the dwindling water sources. Today, any standard robot is capable to replace at least a complete family cell, which requires proper dwelling conditions, food transport and disgusting human habits such as sex, schooling and democracy, items which any low and old fashioned specie of robot does not need.

True, there are features humanoids can perform better than robots, such as living and caring, pity they can not be recycled like robots, but think on the mess they make as domestic pets.

He concludes is learned essay, by suggesting an area quota for humanoids, which should be internationally controlled through wisely distribution of drugs to those stupid humans (drugs kill humans in a friendly environment).

Of course Ynot's essay created enormous quantities of talkbacks, mostly written by robots, which through construction faults are partly humanized and claim to have feelings. Surprisingly, also some humans entered the discussion, trying to justify their existence, but these letters were rather comic, as every average robot knows that humans are hopeless and a complete creation failure.