the computer and I (or me)

The Computer and I (and me?)

By David Verveer

A few weeks ago I heard somebody call his computer a machine, I couldn’t believe my ears, how can somebody be so cruel and ignorant, a computer is the man’s best friend (at least), it is his bible, his dictionary, his type writer, his mail man, his postal office, his bank, his newspaper, and I could go on like this for hours, services which man’s other best friend, the dog, never would consider to perform. It is difficult to understand how our forefathers managed without computer; they were all somehow like Robison Crusoe.

How did they help their grand children with their school work, who wrote long essays on far fetched subjects, without having a computer?

My love and hate relation with the computer started around 20 years ago, when the first table computers were sold, I passed by a new type of shop, where small boys were playing games on a computer, a black box which had to be connected to the television screen, and enabled the playing youth to write and operate somehow the screen. I thought, if such small boys know how to operate it, me, with my technical training, I will have no problems to control the beast. How wrong I was, I never managed to learn how to operate that historical phenomena, which during the years gathered dust on my desk, until a professor in computer science saw this historical master piece and requested it for his collection.

But that was not my first encounter with the computer, in my student days, we were taken to one of the first computers operated in Holland, it was stationed in a giant building, in which the temperature was kept around the 14 degrees Celsius, and I don’t know how many bites it had, but my current best friend (my computer) is at least a million times more power full.

I will not bore you with all the computers which crossed my life, from the Auto -cad (Computer Aided Drawing), IBM clones, and the newest and best computer ever sold, which when I carried it out the shop, became old fashioned and incapable of operating the new software available, needed in order to comply with the competitive work environment. Then came the Internet, that changed our world, we suddenly became part of the world, we could read newspapers from around the world, we could send and receive files from abroad, without needing to go there, in short, the globe became accessible to everybody.

In comparison with the first computer I possessed, the computers today are much more user friendly, you don’t have to be technical in order to use it, small children and elder people use it, without any hesitation, after they learned to overcome their fear for anything new. And really, the computer is a blessing for everybody, from the culinary hobbyist, to the computer game enthusiasts, from the researchers to the scientists, from teachers to pupils; everybody utilizes the computer and internet.

But coming back to my best friend, my computer, who is about 4 years old, a Pentium 3, with several up-grading and new hardware, is getting extremely slow, and incapable of keeping up with the new software available. The operating system XP will need to be replaced with Vista, which can not be installed on my computer, as it has not sufficient available memory, meaning that eventually, I have to replace it with a new best friend.

But then, what to do with my retired best friend, throw it away, after all those hours together, how heartless, and you should know, throwing it away, is also not a very simple task, if you if you take in consideration the environment, you can not burry it, as it pollutes, instead of that, it has to be recycled. But there is nobody prepared to recycle (computer recycling is not a very economical business), and in the end, my retired best friend will be stored in my study, together with several other retired computers, which I have from the past, and don’t tell me that I have to give them to schools or youth clubs, even though, Gates stated that every child will have his computer, they do not accept computers with outdated soft or hard-ware.

Come to think about it, it is easier to get rid of a human body (after dying) than a computer, you can burry it or incinerate it. With Computers, it is much more complicated, and than, this fellow called the computer “a machine”, apparently he did not read Orwell.

The cursing zealot

The cursing zealot

By David Verveer

In “liberated Hebron” a very angry professor, thought that he is the personal representative of God. This University Professor decided that he, and he alone is appointed to decide, who will live and who is going to die. On a sunny day, in “Hebron, where the sun generally shines, as its local population (the settlers) are very observant Jews, living according the laws and duties of humanity, Israeli police and army forces (more than 3,000 men) removed 2 patriotic families from their homes and arranged for them alternative homes near by. True, these nice people were not lawfully owners of those dwellings in the wholesale market, but as these buildings had been owned by Jews 150 years ago, they decided that this is Jewish property and they are entitled to take the law in their own hands. This argument is a rather dangerous, as many properties in Israel were once owned by Arabs, but logic and fair play never played an important part in the behavior of those courageous settlers, who are above the law and terrorize their fellow Arab citizens in “Hebron”.

Our brave professor stood as a hero in front of the media cameras, and just like in those glorious old days of the bible, (Jezebel and Elias) cursed the commanding officer of the Law representatives. He wished the commander to die shortly, his wife to be widowed, his children to become fatherless, etc. But instead of instant death of the commander by the avenging angel of God, the media made close-ups of the foaming professor, just like they would film any curiosity, in order to inform the blood thirsty world public that loves to see a really bloody scene.

This educator and teacher, Professor Hillel Weise (the name, very suitable, means “clever or intelligent” in German), claims that in our democratic country, people are allowed to curse (freedom of speech), and cursing a person, especially a representative of the law, is just like the greeting him with a good morning and having a nice day.

What is really frightening in this affair, is that those zealots (settlers) getting bolder by the day, totally ignoring the law, (Israeli and World law) terrorizing the Arabs, and nobody really dares to do something against them. Their leaders are members of the Knesset, blocking all actions against illegal settlements, and our only remaining chance of getting ever any closer to a peace settlement. Using the right given them by God, as an excuse for their misbehavior, they teach our children that only Jews count in the eye of the Lord. How come that our people, just escaped from the Holocaust, are so blinded, allowing those racists to act unpunished in this manner?

I came to this country because I was proud to be a Jew, and belong to our tribe, I still love Israel, but my pride being Jewish, has been replaced by shame and embarrassment. How, in heavens name, I can justify our behavior to my non Jewish friends, worldwide. Does the excuse, “I did not know”, counts, especially when I do know, and everyday feel more ashamed of their (our) behavior.

the presents dilemma

The presents dilemma

By David Verveer

It all begins when one receives an invitation which goes something like this: You are invited to the …… of our …….. The reception will take place on the ……. At the …………., we hope to see you than,

XYZ, and family.

In early days, such invitation cam by mail or phone, today the internet added some colorful backgrounds, seeing the celebrities at the French Riviera, sitting in the sunshine or their baby pictures. Now start the big dilemma, what type, what size and form our present should be. Arguments that a meal at the reception costs at least 80$ per person, and the present can not be less than that, does not hold much water, as for us 80$ is a huge amount of money, while the happy celebrities shower daily with champagne instead of water. But can we give less, what will they say, those misers come to eat at our costs and are not prepared to spend any money.

There is another question, in what form should we bring the present, to buy (like in the old days, on our wedding we received 5 Moreno glass vases), which might not be liked by the receiver, even though, one adds the shop bill, so they can change it if they don’t like it (generally they don’t), but than we have a new problem, the present cost only 75$, 5 & short, what to do, to add a book, or flowers, I don’t think they will have any time to read, in the next few months of their new life. But bring money that is the optimum of cold heartiness, to bring a check for 85$ (to show we are large and can afford it). But than the wife says, you remember when our daughter had a ……., they gave 250$, we should at least give the same amount. Of course, irrelevant that our feasting relation is rich like Rothschild, and shame on us, we have to turn every penny. We have to take into consideration that they will think that we are not suitable to be their relations, if we can not double their contribution, several years back.

But what should we wear, dressed up (in this weather?), or with jeans, casually, uncomfortable shoes or sport shoes, a white shirt or simply a tea shirt, all questions which should be discussed weeks before we go to the, for somebody, happy occasion. It is funny to see that the richer section in our relations dress always very casually, while the poorer ones dress up, why is that?

Then is the question, what time to arrive, precisely on the time mentioned in the invitation, or at least a half hour later. We are very punctual and if one writes 8.00 o’clock, we generally are there on time, which turns out sometimes very funny, when we had to welcome the guests at a wedding of the daughter of our friends, as they had some problems while bringing the grandfather, and came a hour late.

The reception ritual is also something to take into account, it starts with an outdoor gathering, with people circulation and talking small talk, some waiters (funny enough, with one hand on their back, bring you warm tidbits, Japanese specialties, smoked salmon, etc. And of course an open Bar. Then after having stuffed too much tasty fillers, they invite you to the ritual (wedding, circumcision, divorce, bar mitzvah, receiving a doctorate, etc.). Then the great moment comes, you are invited to the tables, and of course everybody wobbles to the table, where they serve you the meal (that one we discussed before that cost 80$ per plate), but we are already stuffed full by the foreplay, and drinks, can not eat another bite. It is incomprehensible how some people can eat so much and not burst, but again that is their problem. One should realize that during this meal, the music is very loud, which makes any conversation impossible, and as we are not eating and can’t talk, the only thing we do is gaze at the funny way people dress for such occasion, which sometimes looks like the dressing of a Christmas tree, but of course, I am no expert on haute culture.

Finally, cakes and coffee are served, hordes of people start jumping about (dancing of some sort), and we, older people ask each other, if we can go now, which includes thanking the celebrities and their family for the good time, explaining that we have to go, because our baby-sitter, or some lame other excuse. We drive back home, carefully, because, despite not eating much, we have problem in fitting between the steering wheel and the sit. The celebration ends officially, when we phone a few days later, telling how fantastic everything was organized, (did you see Fania, what happened to her, see looks like an old women, but Haimke looked fine, he seems to enjoy himself after Hulda died).

They will thank you for the present, telling us that it was not necessary to have spent so much, they would have received us also without any present, and that they tell us now!