The Israeli Luftgescheft multipurpose patch

The Israeli luftgescheft multipurpose patch

By David Verveer

I like to make from the beginning, I am not talking about the invention of the 21st century, the heart attack prevention patch that indicates that the wearer will get a heart-attack 30 minutes before it happens, I hope it doesn't work, as who wants a heart attack? No I am dealing with a multipurpose plaster, which has an USB outlet, which one can connect to the PC on one side, and the plaster on the other side.

This multi-purpose patch is glued to the upper belly, and will report the blood flow of the patient, heart speed, and other medical facts of the wearer. This invention was developed by a team of scientists, and financed by several inventors. A company was formed called "luftgescheft" and soon can de traded at the Tel Aviv bourse.

The inventor Dr. Chan Tarish, at a meeting with the press told the audience about the invention, how it operates and who will benefit from it. The multipurpose-patch is still in development stage, and the expected date of reaching the market will depend on getting the O.K. from the ministry of Health. The inventor warned that sudden breakdown of the system could mean two main reasons, or power failure on one side, or death of the patient., when this happens, one should not panic, but check if the PC gets it power supply, if of course the power supply is working, Hevrat Kedisha's phone number is written on the patch.
On a question of the audience, if the multipurpose patch also helps to stop smoking, the inventor showed his patch on his breast, and told the press that for reasons not clear yet, the patch gets un-comfortable hot when smoking, which made him stop, around two weeks after starting wearing the patch.

Another journalist asked if the patch works on Microsoft software or Linux, and if failing health won't interfere with the proper operation of the PC. The Inventor thought it would not affect software or hardware, but further investigation would be required.
However, he said the company is working on a disk-on-key type of device, which would be attached to the plaster, and could provide all the software of the P.C.

One of the share holders is Ezekiel the private butcher of the prime minister, who was found guilty on selling kosher meat in a non-kosher zone, and by the way, his wife Jackeline runs a beauty parlor in Jerusalem's Merhavia neighborhood, where many of the wives and partners of the MKs go for their weekly make-up.

The prime minister, when asked, told us that he does not handle the meat provision of the Prime ministers household, and that he never had laid eye on the butcher, nor was aware of his problems with the law. The police was asked to investigate these rumors, which might be related to the Dudu Topaz case.

Last news: The Albanian financing firm "the upside-down Pyramid" indicated their interest in buying 30% of Ezekiel's stock, no further information is available yet.