The recipe book on how you are allowed to fight terrorism

By David Verveer

There is an ancient joke about the Jew (the reason why the story is about a Jew and not a Gentile, is based on advanced psychiatry, and will not be discussed in this non scientific paper). This Jew was enlisted in the army, during war time, and send out with a patrol to face the enemy. Suddenly an enemy tank started to shoot towards our hero, and only pure simple luck saved him from being killed, or wounded. Our hero, let us name him in order to make the story more comprehensible, Joachim Nathaniel Cohn (JNC) jumped up, ran towards the enemy tank shouting loudly, are you bloody blind, be carefully, you could have hurt us!

And this is precisely the message of the Goldstone report (that Mr. Goldstone happens to be Jewish is of no importance and anybody who might think that I mention this on purpose is an anti-Semite, as you would not have mentioned his religion if he would have been a Mormon, you would have thought religion is irrelevant, don't you think?

Having studied the 500 page Goldstone report, I will now summarize how our friend Goldstone advises countries which are attacked by terrorist should react. First of all, if the enemy (I think enemy sounds discriminating, we should read instead "freedom fighters" bombard your tows with missiles, don't be childish, how much damage does such primitive rocket, don't react, if you don't answer, soon they will get fed up and stop with this annoyance.

However, if you decide that you have to show some way of reprisal (very primitive, not the way civilized people behave) do respond with shooting into the sea (be careful that nobody is there to get hurt), and please put some noise reducer on your cannons, as the local population might be resting, and remember, children and older people, women, students, policemen should b warned before you shoot, in order to prevent possible traumas and damage.

You have to be fair, if there is a number of innocent freedom fighters killed due to your firing, remember to let them kill the same number of soldiers on your side, a non even number of killings will bring you automatically into court for crimes to humanity.

If your troupes get shot upon, you have to verify if from the direction of the shoting (let us say, in an area of 2 square Kilometer) there are no innocent civilians, don't just shoot back, you might damage buildings and people.

Using weapons and bombs which might hurt or wound people is absolutely forbidden.

Shooting back is allowed only after you absolutely verified if the shooting was intentional, if the shooters are licensed freedom fighters, and if they are alone and not near civilians or UN employees.

Don't shoot on ambulances, even not if you are fired upon, from the ambulance, it might be that the shooter suffers a mental shock, and mentally ill shooters are not responsible for their deeds.
And remember, the settlers are occupying illegally Arab lands, and those brave freedom fighters try to liberate occupied territory, and don't confuse this rapport with irrelevant facts, don't you realize how much oil those Arabs produce?