scoop

Scoop – a new scandal on Olmert!

By David Verveer

Our special correspondent (dealing with scandals and gossip) just entered the news-room with a new news breaking scandal on our Prime Minister Ehud Olmert.
She learned from one of the workers in the Knesset Restaurant, that Mr. Ehud Olmert when ordering a cup of coffee, he apparently steals several extra sugar bags, which he puts in his pocket, in order to sell on the black market, and the profit he adds to his continues growing private bank account.

The police has started investigation on this new crime committed by our leader, next week a large team of investigators will travel to the USA and France, in order to gather more information on the case. A spokesman of the opposition leader declared today in a hasty press conference, that Olmert should not continue as Prime Minister after this new accusation has been published. He added, and I quote "a Prime Minister who steals from the Knesset restaurant can not be trusted to run the nation".

Our police stumbled by accident on the disappearance of the sugar bags, when a security officer on duty, ordering coffee at the Restaurant and found the sugar bowl empty. He started to investigate who has been sitting at the same table before him. The Restaurant assistant tried to shush up this dirty affair, but our policeman suddenly realized that he had discovered an additional crime apparently committed by our Prime Minister. The police officer phoned directly to his superiors, including the Chief of Police himself, who after only 23 minutes, joined the investigation and conducted an interview with the Restaurant chief and some of the workers.

According to un-official information supplied by the Police, this embezzlement seems to continue for years, and might have reached a total sum of 2.423 N.I.S worth of sugar (especially now that the World price in foods such as sugar have risen on the World Market due to Global Warming and the production of Ethanol from Sugar containing products).

Member of the Knesset, representing the Settlers (the name is withheld by the Paper) stated that Olmert can not continue another day, as it is crystal clear that a person who steals sugar bags, can not be trusted with decisions on "land for peace" and settlement policies.

Members of the Prime Minister's party refused to comment on these new revelations with the sole exception of the Minister for Transport, who told our correspondent, that he personally did not sweeten his drinks.

The State Comptroller issued a detailed report on the overdose of sugar use by Government employees and Knesset members, accusing Olmert of doping and possession of illegal doses of sugar, and instructed the police to indict the Prime Minister. We expect that this case will precede the other scandals such as; ticket affair, Talanski, Kreminitky, Bank Leumi and helping his former buddy and partner.

A personal advice to our readers, please read this fast, as so far we know, this is still the latest scandal.